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The Princess Bride and Sarcasm, Women in Books

The Princess Bride; Strong Female Protagonists; Book Reviews; Movie Reviews

It is (possibly) a universal law that any discussion concerning The Princess Bride must contain the phrase “as you wish” somewhere within the first paragraph. This fulfills my obligation to nature (note: sarcasm).

I enjoy The Princess Bride (the movie) and have for a long time. Until last week, I had never read the book. But now I’m on the fence about whether I’m glad I did or not. The movie and the book are so similar (since the author helped very closely with the movie), that it’s hard to really draw a distinction between either of them, but I will try.

Have you ever read The Princess Bride?

The Princess Bride is a story that is somewhere between a cult classic and an actual classic. Maybe it’s not quite old enough to be considered a true classic, but I don’t know the rules for officially defining that. Either way, the story certainly has an avid if not rabid fan following. I will venture a guess that the majority of these fans came about because of the successful 1987 movie featuring Robin Wright and Cary Elwes. Frankly the entire cast was perfect, although I won’t list them all for the sake of space.

And now a quick and possibly controversial aside: I listed Robin Wright first even though she is listed eighth on the cast list over at IMDB. Why? I’ll talk more about it later.

It is (potentially) a law of nature that any article about The Princess Bride shall contain the phrase “my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die” somewhere in the fifth paragraph. I have hereby appeased the gods of the universe (note: also sarcasm).

The Movie

I do not think that The Princess Bride would be a thing that anyone ever talked about if the book were the only telling of the story available. The movie is what made its mark, not the book. If one of your friends lets loose with a hearty “inconceivable!” after you best her in a game of ping pong (or possibly billiards), everyone within earshot gets the joke—well, everyone worth knowing anyway.

The same is true for Inigo Montoya’s quote from earlier, Westley’s “as you wish” from even earlier, and Fezzik’s “anybody want a peanut?” that I haven’t even mentioned yet. All of this, and the many other quotes that have become colloquial, are famous because of the movie, and only because of the movie.

Most (emphasis on that word) of the famous lines from the movie were also in the book (not all). I only say this to point out that William Goldman wrote really, really well. I mean, he was an expert.

As mentioned before, I love The Princess Bride (the movie) and I have loved it since I was twelve or fourteen years old, whenever it was I first saw it. But I must say that I am lukewarm-to-tepid regarding the book, rating it three stars on Goodreads (most people give it five). I would give the movie four-and-a-half or five without a second thought.

The movie hits on all cylinders for me. Its comedy is perfect. The story although uncomplicated is still engaging. And the protagonistic (I made that word up) characters draw me in.

Movies vs. Books

I’m about to say what I don’t like about the movie, but before I do let me throw this in first:  My mother in law is a librarian. She loves books (I’m an author; I love books too). She has a frame around her license plate that says “Don’t judge a book by its movie.” I support this sentiment. Except not for The Princess Bride.

Most books, probably all books (The Princess Bride included), develop characters, background, and events far more effectively than movies. Timing is on the side of the author, not the director. An author can spend fifty pages describing a scene that takes a minute to elapse in story time. A director lacks this luxury; for her, comprehension is almost exclusively visual and must be achieved practically instantaneously.

Character development matters to me. In general, my largest complaint with any movie is that villains are frequently so one-dimensional that I am dissociated from caring what happens to them. When this happens, I find that I just don’t care about the presentation part (Avatar is my number one example of this). There are few if any real people that have no motivation for their actions other than just being “bad,” and I really want the characters in stories to be realistic. Characters are what make great stories, and movies often fail in this category.

It’s not totally the fault of the director, either. As I mentioned, it is very tricky to get a good solid descriptive backstory into a movie. The format is just wrong for it. So books in almost all cases have better characters and tell better stories. The Princess Bride falls into this category. But I still like the movie better.

The Book

I’ll give my best reason to like the book more than the movie, but I’m not going to change my mind because of it. Prince Humperdinck is a pompous, one-dimensional idiot in the movie. There is nothing about him to like, and all we really know is that he is freaky-good at following footprints after the duel between Inigo and Westley.

But in the book, he has some actual depth that helps define his character. He isn’t just a bad guy (although he is a bad guy) because he actually wants to be a good ruler and works hard at it. Unfortunately, part of his plan to be a good ruler is to kill Buttercup so he can start a war with Guilder and thereby prove himself. That kind of makes him a bad guy. But in the book, at certain points, you can understand where Prince H is coming from.

So then what’s my deal, anyway?

Sarcasm and why the internet seems to be full of hate

Something you probably didn’t know (before this moment) was that if you write about The Princess Bride, you absolutely have to include the line “You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you. You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die” in the eighteenth paragraph. If you don’t, the Princess Bride police arrest you. This is true (note: it’s not true; sarcasm).

I don’t actually know if sarcasm is the reason the internet seems to be full of people that just spew hate and misunderstandings at each other. It’s probably not that simple, but it must be part of the reason. However, I feel strongly that sarcasm is one of the reasons I didn’t really love The Princess Bride as a book. This already sounds weird if you know me, because I’m a pretty sarcastic person.

The Princess Bride is classified as a satirical fairy tale by some. There are numerous asides by Goldman throughout that “break the fourth wall” in comic book speak. The mythical text that Goldman is supposedly abridging doesn’t actually exist, and neither do Florin and Guilder, although he continually references them as if they were real historical kingdoms. I have no problem with any of this. It was entertaining and well presented.

But amidst all the satire, he missed the boat.

The Women of The Princes Bride

The problem I have lies in what I believe is demonstrated by Robin Wright’s credited position in the cast list of the movie itself that I referenced earlier. Eighth. She is the princess bride, her character is the title of the story, and yet she is hardly even featured (not even billed as a costar). This is a tiny sliver of a problem with the movie that stems from a gargantuan problem in the book.

In short (I’m at 1,310 words at this point in the post, so I probably can’t legitimately say “in short” anymore, but I’m writing this, not you), Goldman’s treatment of his female characters in The Princess Bride is deplorable. Buttercup is portrayed as simple-minded (read: stupid) and weak. The other female characters are essentially nonexistent other than as devices for the advancement of the male-dominated plot.

There is some amazing potential to do some great things with Buttercup’s character, not to mention the queen, Buttercup’s mother, and Miracle Max’s wife (we get a glimpse of her, but just a glimpse). However, instead of pursuing these characters, Goldman sweeps past them in a rush to get back to the main characters, Westley, Inigo, Fezzik, Prince H, and Count Rugen (all male, by the way).

Does Goldman do this because he’s writing satire and he’s trying to make a commentary on the lack of female heroes in fantasy novels (see JRR Tolkien for the worst of the worst offenders in this realm)? Some have suggested this is the case. Or is it because he really only views women as supporting props for his male heroes?

If you read nothing else, read this

I’ll answer my own question: it doesn’t matter.

I say this and will stand by it for two reasons.

First, sarcasm does not always translate into writing very well. That’s sort of an underlying message to this whole post, which I am expertly weaving into my narrative via the sledgehammer method.

Sarcasm in writing can be done, it has been done, but it doesn’t work unless it’s expertly done. There aren’t any internet commentators that have done it expertly, so people get really angry in those forums. But that’s the internet for you.

So how about this satirical fairy tale that is supposed to possibly comment on the type of story we seem to enjoy? Goldman does well with comedy in The Princess Bride, he’s funny. He is really funny. But the sarcasm aspect is left wanting, chiefly because I can’t tell where he actually means to be ironic and where it’s his actual position.

Second, some topics, even approached sarcastically, just aren’t funny.

There are few enough good female characters in classic and modern entertainment (books or movies) to take Goldman’s path with Buttercup, whether intentionally satirical or not. And if he is being satirical, it’s so subtle that it misses the mark completely and simply becomes impossible to view as such. In fact, if it is satire, it’s so subtle that it actually seems to add weight to the other side of the argument.

But it gets worse.

As Westley and Buttercup flee from the scene of Vizzini’s death, Westley (clarification: the protagonist, hero, and knight in shining armor) actually slaps Buttercup in the face…in the face! This cannot be presented ironically enough to make it acceptable. And that’s where I hopped off the “enamored with the Princess Bride in book format” train. In Buttercup’s vernacular you might say “I died that day.” A hero can’t behave like that and remain a hero.

The End

Comedy is one thing, and as I have said several times Goldman’s writing is really amazing. His storytelling is first rate, his characters are deep and real. The plot moves quickly, but delves into all the deep spots too. In short, a very well done book. But amidst it all is something I just can’t overlook. I can’t just close my eyes and pretend that I like a book that promotes demeaning women and treating them as lesser people. Not even, or maybe especially not, in jest (or satire, or sarcasm, however we wish to say it).

And now after having said all of that, I kind of wish I had given it two stars instead of three.

What do you think about my take on this book? Am I being too harsh or overly sensitive? Take just a minute and add a comment of your own below.

Charlotte’s Web: A Spider’s Motivation

Charlotte's Web is Wisdom from a spider that affects you and me
Anyone’s life can stand a little of that

A few months ago, maybe many months ago, I read Charlotte’s Web to my kids. They loved it (of course they did, it’s a great story), and I did too. I had read it before, as a child, but of course there were things that I had forgotten, and still more that I had completely missed as a young reader. I like going back to books I have read before and finding the pieces that I previously had missed.

With Charlotte’s Web, there was still all the humor and the silliness of a spider convincing a farmer that his pig is “some pig” as well as all of the rest of what makes the story good. Charlotte is a great example of “mind over matter”, “size matters not” (credit: Yoda), and all the classic confidence boosters that fill children’s stories. But what was more meaningful to me now as an adult was not that. The story of Charlotte showed me something about our inner selves, our motivations, and our belief that doing good is worth it.

I asked myself what Charlotte’s motivation was. And by finding the answer to that question I learned a little more about my own motivations.

Motivations for Characters in Fiction

Before I get all the way into Charlotte’s head, I want to mention something about E.B. White. I know nothing about how he thought, but it always intrigues me when we as readers assign meanings or themes to an author’s words. The one question we all ask as we do that is if the author “really” meant that, or are we just inventing it from our own context. The answer is beyond me to give, but I like to think about it. Most of the time, I think the author meant it.

And now a circuitous route back towards Charlotte. As a writer, the reasons that a character performs a certain action, or foregoes a certain action, is crucial. It’s the only definition of their character, in fact. I might have a picture of who a character is in my head, or on my outline sheet, but if they don’t act that way in the story, the reader will end up with a completely different idea of who the character is. So, to stay consistent with who the character is supposed to be, I have to know, even if the reader will never explicitly see it, the motivation for each character. That way, when I put them in a situation, I don’t have to create or imagine their response, I just check their motivation, and they make their own choice. I just have to let it happen as I type.

Charlotte is a perfect character to examine for this. She had a description somewhere on Elwyn’s desk (that’s E.B. White’s first name, fyi, and it’s a great name), I’m sure of it. And when Charlotte faced a problem, he didn’t have to come up with something for her to do, she was already going to do it all on her own, he just had to write it down while it happened.

A Spider’s Motivation

So, let me share what I think is the most clarifying statement Charlotte makes that reveals her inner motivations (and she is quite verbose to say the least) when she says this to Wilbur:

You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what’s a life, anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die. A spider’s life can’t help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little of that.

Charlotte’s Web, E.B. White

I really like that quote, and it says enough about Charlotte to get this discussion where I hope to go. The real question you might ask as you read Charlotte’s Web is “why is a spider helping a pig”? That is the most logical question if you were looking for a plot hole. Obviously this isn’t something that Elwyn observed in nature. But Charlotte already knows the skeptics will ask that question, and she has true to form preemptively answered the question. And in doing that, has given us something more profound to consider than just a silly story about some barnyard shenanigans.

Who is Charlotte besides just a simple grey spider? She’s me. She’s you, the reader. She’s any of us. She has lived a life that could be measured as one that matches any expectations. What I mean by that is, she has been exactly who we would have thought: she’s eaten bugs, spun webs, and acted just like a spider. This is no surprise since she is a spider. But then she meets Wilbur; and all at once she is more than just a spider.

No One Lives Forever

What Charlotte knows that no one else in her world seems to realize, is that her ultimate demise is near. It’s marked. She knows when it is. And as she views her coming death, she reflects a little on what her life has been. That is assuredly a human characteristic we all share. Of course she doesn’t regret her life as a spider, it’s who she is and Charlotte is pragmatic if she’s anything, but she does want to leave just a little bit more than a legacy of webs and flies behind. Wilbur gives her that chance.

How many of us might think back on our life with a twinge of regret, not for everything, but for missed opportunities, or that one friend that we never quite kept in touch with, or a thousand other examples of things that leave us wondering what might have been. For the negative memories, I would say it’s probably natural to feel a little bit like making up for it with a good deed or two before it’s too late. Whether you really can make up for a bad decision like that, I will leave for a different discussion.

But that’s what Charlotte is doing, as she clearly states. She finds that she likes Wilbur and decides to help him out, since she knows he’s otherwise fated to be a pork chop on a dinner plate in the near future. And in Wilbur, she sees a chance to possibly raise her life a little, as she puts it.

Our Life is More than Just a Life

So isn’t it true that a person’s life (any person’s life) is a little bit of a mess as well? Haven’t we all left behind something that we regret, at least once? And whether we have or not, Charlotte’s words still ring true to me. We all can stand to lift our life a little, and there is little better to do that than by lifting someone else. It’s no surprise to me that I missed that message as a kid reading a story about a spider and a pig; and it’s also no surprise that Elwyn put such an important message in his book, one that parents could glean as they read to their son or daughter by the night light at their bedside. It’s a strong author that can write on both levels as he did here.

In any case, I’m glad for having reread Charlotte’s Web and having found this and  understood it better. Not just to remind me to try to lift someone else’s life as I go through my own, but also because of the reinforcing feeling it is to hear a positive message that matches my own philosophy of life.

What I’m Reading Right Now: Vango

I’m almost finished with a book that I am really enjoying: Vango, by Timothée de Fombelle. I’m reading it in French, which is a thing I do sometimes. It’s an adventure story, and I guess there are many of those out there. This one is really well written, it is engaging and the suspense has me trapped. I love the characters and there is an intense mystery around everything that slowly (very slowly but perfectly) unfurls. It’s a great story.

I think what I like about it the most, though, is how well the setting, pre-WWII, adds to the story. There is very little direct discussion of the politics of the time, and this isn’t really historical fiction although the relevant historical portions are likely accurate (I haven’t checked), but as the characters live out their role in the plot, the realities of living in Europe during those days between WWI and WWII are expertly revealed.

The story occurs mostly in Italy, Germany, and France, with occasional forays into Russia and Scotland. I love the variety of locales and how Fombelle presents each place without making the story seem disjointed. I am a fan of stories that jump from one time period to another and from one place to another, and each jump gives you a little insight or a little more information on the plot, even though it might be a seemingly irrelevant or tangential scene. As I near the end of the book, these little side plots are being tied in together.

I’m not done, so no spoiler warnings needed…since I haven’t any to offer. Without even finishing it, I would recommend reading it. It’s just been fun to read. It doesn’t take a ton of brain power, but it does keep you thinking.