My heart skipped a beat when I opened the PDF. That has never happened before—it’s only a PDF after all. It was a 14 MB file and it took a fair amount of time to load—I was opening it for viewing on my self-publisher’s website (bookbaby.com). The lengthy loading bar only added to the suspense. I was nervous.

I wanted it to look good. I wanted it to be like I had imagined (that is usually a bad expectation to hold on to). More than anything, I wanted this PDF that I was about to see to boost my confidence that I had made the right decision with self-publishing. Was this book going to look professional? Was it going to look like I had made it in MS Paint? I didn’t know. I had sent some concepts (not in MS Paint, but might as well have been) to give the designers a direction. I had no idea how they would approach my horrible art offering.

They were brilliant with it.

The PDF opened and I experienced a sudden rush, sort of like what you feel when you see a “100%” at the top of an exam paper. The image itself was not exactly what I had pictured in my mind, but it conveyed the feeling and idea that I had been hoping for. It was my book displayed in a picture (worth 1,000 words, for sure—you’ll have to read the other 78,000 though to get the real sense of it).

I’m happy.

I started proof reading the interior (you know, the words…the part that makes it a book). There are some issues with formatting and so on, as there probably are with any book. The difference between producing a self-published book and a traditionally published book is that the author wouldn’t have to proof the books in a traditional format (I assume). So I do not view these issues negatively—this is the part of the process I have elected to take on so that I can publish myself.

If all goes well, by June 6, my book, Thread and Other Stories, will be available for purchase. It looks amazing (unbiased statement! I promise), and I think that anyone who reads it will find something new and significant to consider and ponder in their life. That’s what I hope for, anyway.

Here’s what I saw: